
Have you seen the ‘How I met your mother’ series? A couple Lily and Marshall, in fact the only couple that has a long-term relationship and later marriage and kids are having serious arguments. They have a tendency, pausing and unpausing their heated fights, stopping to talk about the sensitive issue for a while and showing love for one another.
Some successful married couples use personal rituals to end their argument. Reflexology can be a type of ritual. Grab the foot and relax and the more you calm down the more you will see clearly and look at the same thing from a different angle. Pausing and unpausing, or a personal ritual of your mutual choosing can provide that break you both need to calm down. Sometimes you realise that your targeted stress landed on the most loved person who has nothing to do with it.
Reflexology techniques to calm you in the middle of an argument
Start with sitting in front of each other, with your feet laying inside the others’. With your thumbs hold the solar plexus point – just below the ball of your foot, right in the centre – on the foot, for 2 minutes, with varying pressure strengths every few seconds. Continue with a lengthy period of relaxation techniques, at times running your fingers from the heel back up to the solar plexus point and hold it for a moment.
It is recommended not to talk during this session, especially about the topic you were arguing about. When you are holding each other’s solar plexus points, breathe in together and when you exhale you should consciously release anger. Follow the methods below:
Reflex area | Method | Result |
Diaphragm | Rotate onto thumb & thumb walk accross | Opens breathing channels |
Lungs & Chest | Lung press | Lowers stress |
Entire foot | Thumb slide, thumb rotation | Relaxes |
Adrenals | Rotate onto thumb | Balances adrenaline level |
Entire foot | Karate chops, punch, slap | Releases built-up energy |
Also, see the video link in the source section that is very helpful.
Visualization/meditation techniques

Let your partner exhale the red flame of anger, releasing it from inside and encourage him to see the flames evaporating in the air. After that, help him imagine breathing in beautiful fresh flowers from a garden after rain. After a little while, tell him to imagine the two of you having a picnic in this peaceful garden, surrounded with flowers and only the sound of nature can be heard. Do this meditative technique together while you are having your couples’ reflexology session, it will not only calm you both but reminds you how much you love each other.
If you try the above methods with your partner, do let me know how it went. And don’t put too much pressure on yourself doing it right, the whole idea is to come away from the argument for the time being and remember to enjoy each other’s company.
Email me klara.reflexology@gmail.com or don’t go too far just click on the ‘Get in Touch’ button on my website’s home page https://www.thepureenergy.co.uk/ and you will be directed right away to my email.
Best,
Klara
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Sources
Couples Foot Massage Technique, How to Massage Feet & Dual Reflexology Therapy Demonstration, PsycheTruth, Melissa La Munyon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZEoQ6pl9-M
The Reflexology Handbook, Laura Norman & Thomas Cowan, 1988
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