Hello everyone!
Welcome to 2023! Wishing you an amazing new year!
As promised, we shall continue talking about couples’ reflexology. In the first part (previous blog), we explained why couples’ reflexology can be beneficial to implement in a relationship. It gives both of you a chance to nurture each other (which can easily get forgotten) and learn to talk, share, and listen more to one another.
How to begin talking over serious issues?
For couples, decisions should be made together, and any serious discussion should be made with a cool head. Yes, life gets in the way all the time when decisions need to be made and takes much longer if we are not in the right space.
It is recommended to do a minimum 30 minutes but a full session reflexology on each other before you dig into a serious conversation. Usually, relaxation techniques are often enough. It helps both of you to remain calm and open, focused, and clearheaded on the issue/subject.
During reflexology, visualization can be a useful tool just like in mediation where a mediation guru leads you through relaxing imaginary stories like walking up a mountain stopping every now and then, seeing relaxing surroundings or making you imagine you are the ocean making the waves and the sounds – giving you confidence, power. Now, you can set the mood in your mind by imagining you are in a beautiful blue room with your partner with a gorgeous view, working everything out together.
How to make decisions together?
Important decisions are finances, children, aging parents, career change, moving house and so on. Thus, communication skills are important in decision making. Both parties should feel their interests have been heard and because you are no longer deciding for yourself, there is a lot more to consider such as your partner, your children or whoever is involved in the family or issue. Big decisions require long conversations: talking over things, weighing options, setting goals and objectives, and planning. These need to be done together.
Creativity studies have shown that some of the best ideas or insights came from us being in an alpha state, the state of consciousness when our brain produces alpha waves. This happens when we manage to put distractions aside, we let ourselves daydream or meditate, perform a repetitive task, or just let our thoughts flow freely. We won’t be in this state if we are stressed, pressured, get easily distracted or if we try to meet a deadline. This is when reflexology can guide you both in an alpha state.
Many of my reflexology clients reported after reflexology sessions they could make decisions about work, life easier. Also, they confirmed their sleep was more restful, which is a key ingredient to clear thinking. Reflexology is a great tool to put you in the alpha state of consciousness.
Midlife crisis affects couples’ lives too. It usually happens late thirties, beginning of forties when men and women re-evaluate if they tend to continue living the same way, doing the same things, working for the same goals. A lot of serious decisions are made during this period that a person could regret later such as a divorce or a career change. When you feel this anxiety, depression coming over you at midlife it needs to be handled with a calm centre. First acknowledge it. It is a normal thing to happen but if you feel pressured it is time for a change. Put your worries into a balanced perspective for which you need a tidy mindset.
Another big effect can be kids leaving the ‘nest’, especially for mothers. For some couples, it is a very crucial decision to continue their lives alone, but of course other parents already planned it out and cannot wait for it. Nevertheless, it is hard to let the kids go and re-start fresh. This is the time for couples to support each other and re-create a life that they had already experienced when they were young, starting their lives together. It will be a new chapter in couples’ lives. Make that hard transition with the help of reflexology.
Next time I will discuss what steps are good for ending an argument and this will be the last of this couples’ reflexology series. I hope you enjoyed it.
I would also welcome your stories on how reflexology helped you, not necessarily on your relationship.
Any questions or if you require more information about reflexology, please can get in touch klara.reflexology@gmail.com
Best,
Klara
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Sources
Couples Foot Massage Technique, How to Massage Feet & Dual Reflexology Therapy Demonstration, PsycheTruth, Melissa La Munyon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZEoQ6pl9-M
The Reflexology Handbook, Laura Norman & Thomas Cowan, 1988
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