Have you noticed your child had more difficulties to go to school or nursery? And I am not talking about the nervousness children experience when they go to school first time. I am talking about the anxiety they have now, after so many Covid lockdowns. Did you notice your child feels more comfortable with you nearby and the people he/she used to having around? Did you notice, it’s much harder to relax or engage in a game/play with other kids, even with friends? Covid 19 has created an anti-social environment for many adults (going back to work) and children alike. (My next blog will be on mental health of adults during and after Covid.)
I am not saying it is easier for an adult to deal with things but an adult can actually research and reach out about their mental health. A child won’t recognise signs of an anxiety on their own, won’t understand what is happening to him/her and therefore needs our attention, support and guidance. Some children more likely to have worries and anxieties and teens are more likely to experience social anxieties. I am sure all you parents, grandparents agree. And there are a lot of other reasons that children feel anxious of, such as changes within a short period (moving, new school); or taking responsibility (looking after their own toddler brother/sister), which is beyond their age or development; or being in a company of a family member who has an anxiety (they could even help the person but who knows how it affects them); or school environment where they need too much work to complete; or peer pressure at school; or stress involving family problems (debt, arguments and conflicts) and the worst is going through traumatic experiences (being bullied, witnessing or experiencing abuse, accidents, house fire etc.).
Symptoms of anxiety is very similar in children what an adult experience, so imagine how scary it is for them, the unknown, the uncomfortable. Physically: breathing difficulties, panic attacks, dry mouth, sweating, feeling hot, tense muscles, digestive problems (IBS, diarrhoea). In mind: scary, negative or dreaded thoughts producing angry outbursts; feeling of being out of control; alert to noises; worrying about coping and the lack or disturbed sleep because of it; not being able to concentrate, lack of confidence in everyday challenges. Their coping mechanism too: hiding away doing new things (being anti-social that lockdown could just worsen for some), repeating certain behaviours or actions or rituals (OCD), eating disorders and self-harm.
How to help our children when they go through anxiety?
First and foremost, talking to them about it, be honest with them, figuring out what could cause the uncomfortable feelings, thoughts. Explain to them what anxiety is and making sure they understand it is normal. Reassure them it will pass and they will be OK.
Help them to recognise signs of anxiety and how to ease them. For instance, showing and practicing calming breathing techniques, teaching them short yoga stretching, mindfulness and meditating techniques. I am so happy to know some schools already have it on their agendas.
Making a worry box, writing down their worries where all the ‘worries’ belong and or a self-soothe box where precious things like photos, favourite quotes, toys, scents are kept to remind them about amazing things in their lives.
This reminds me of a little girl (who is an adult now), she was emotionally hurt by her mum blaming her for being pregnant with her too early and making her feel like she is the cause of her youth being lost. This young girl should really have these boxes back than, didn’t have therapy choice, only her lovely dad to go to for comfort but she wrote down all her worries under a table so no one knew, no one could see it. This was her special place where she could complain, get it out of her system. She could only go to therapy later in her adult life and now she has control over her deeply trembled, rejected feelings, Today, she has forgiven her mother and moved on. I truly believe writing it under the table was her self-therapy dealing with it and helped her staying insane.
Physical reassurance: holding their hand, maybe cuddle. Spending quality time together as a family and with friends. Having laughter, doing sports and outdoor activities together.
Encourage them to do fun activities drawing, painting, exercising, reading or simply collecting beautiful leaves. Bake or cook together, watching a fun movie. Sleeping, eating well (lowering sugar or caffeine for bigger kids), drinking water.
Make them connect with their five senses, apparently what they can see, touch, smell, hear or taste will bring them back to reality and reduces their anxiety. Can even make a little play out of it, counting, observing what they see, hear etc. drawing it or writing it down. You can also ask them to think of a place that they love, a person that they like spending time with or an object that is comforting to them. These things will make them feeling safe and ease their worries.
With distressing events such as a bereavement or a divorce provide them with books and films that help them understand their feelings. Talk to them about it step-by-step what is the process of things, this could even be a house move.
If your child anxiety worsens and you think you cannot do anymore, seek help for them with talking therapies or treatments but I recommend for you to guide them first finding their own solutions so they can either grow it out or when they experience it again, they can deal with it on their own and in a more relaxed way, knowing it will pass. Try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself, they will sense it and could weaken their own anxiety.
How can reflexology, a holistic treatment help a child?
Usually, it is the evening when my son begins to talk about them, that bothering him at school or elsewhere. This is when his anxiety grows as he talks about them. I let him tell me everything and ask questions. While we chat, I start to massage his foot, especially points of the brain and glands. He gets calmer and calmer and falls asleep naturally and, in the meantime, we also find some solutions that causing his anxiety. Of course, they don’t get solved overnight, its a continuous process. I can teach you massage therapy methods to help your kid in a class designed for parents, grandparents or carers, supporting children during an anxiety. This of course can be done any time of the day and only natural, no medication required. Please see the front-page of The Pure Energy (www.thepureenergy.co.uk) for more details.
Best wishes
Klara
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Sources
Supporting your child with anxiety, Young Minds, https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/a-z-guide/anxiety/
Anxiety in children, NHS, https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/anxiety-in-children/
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